My wife asked me this interesting question today. We were walking on the beach on our way to do a little shopping. Our walks are my favorite thing in life. Yes, even more than writing. We often have deep discussions, but wow, what a profound, existential question to face on a Saturday morning. But you know what? After a brief moment of thought, my answer surprised me- No, I said.
Is my life perfect? Absolutely not. Were there things that I would do a little differently? Sure. But no true regrets. So far, I have gone where I wanted to go, tried what I wanted to try, and done what I wanted to do. There are still unknown experiences, but it is a matter of time, not because I missed the opportunity. Looking back through my life, if I changed anything with a hint of regret, it would affect everything that is now important to me. For example, what if I got my Ph.D. as I had planned? Well, let’s dig into that. I would have never traveled to China to have the most profound experience of my life, and I would have missed the chance to meet my wise wife, who just asked me exactly the right question to pull me out of the doldrums, redirecting me to what really matters.
No, my wife doesn’t just throw out deep philosophical questions on a whim. We were talking about my writing. Things have not been going well in that realm. In my last post, I thought things had made a turn for the better, but no. I have worked hard at this dream for many years and am not much further along than when I first started. It has very much been two steps forward and one back. It is frustrating to work so hard at something and not find success. But what is success? Maybe I just have a problem with measurement.
Earlier this morning, I checked where my books ranked in my Amazon keywords, which I have done daily for about three years. It takes about two hours. After almost two weeks without a single sale or page read, my books were slipping further and further back into the ether. I finally asked myself why I was wasting so much time. Whether I know or not where my book appears is meaningless. I initially thought I could use the data to help determine what marketing efforts were working. But really, where has it got me? I made a solid effort, but two hours a day for three years is 2,190 hours wasted. I closed my spreadsheet unfinished and decided to use that time and energy to do what I love from now on, namely writing.
When I told my wife this, her question was a wise way to get me to focus on what was important- I have dared to do what I love. The books I have published are out there. I loved writing them, and some have even enjoyed reading them. Including my wife, who is my biggest fan. Few people have the bravery to start writing a book, and even fewer finish them. I had a goal of being a writer, and I accomplished that several times over. I’ve been following my passion, and that is what is important. If some join me on the journey, well, shucks, that is great too, but I need to stop worrying about what will happen if they don’t.
I am reminded of a letter I recently saw online written by none other than Albert Einstein. Some all-knowing algorithm plucked it from the universe and put it before me. Miss Marion Block, a college freshman at the time (this was in 1951), had asked Professor Einstien the question, why are we alive? His response: “The question “why” in the human sphere is easy to answer: to create satisfaction for ourselves and for other people. In the extra-human sphere, the question has no meaning.” If one of the most brilliant people to ever live says we should focus on what makes us and others happy, then why do we spend so much time on the things that bring us pain, sadness, disappointment, and all the other negative emotions? That’s a good question.
Writing makes me happy. Worrying about selling books does not. There is a simple solution. It’s time to shift priorities before I start to form regrets.
Cheers!
Discover more from Author Scott Austin Tirrell
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I can relate to this, Scott. I check sales (or more often, lack of sales) all the time. I’m delighted to see a couple per month. As you say, it shows someone is reading my books. If they take the time to review, even better (most of the time). 🙂
Thanks for sharing this!
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Definitely a profound question Scott. Great insightful response for sure.
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Very insightful and something I strongly agree with.
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Beautiful article! 👌👌
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I relate to this too. Why is it, I sometimes ask myself, that it was easier to sell books 10 years ago than it is now? Don’t you agree Scott that it’s getting harder?
But that doesn’t mean our books aren’t good books. William Blake wasn’t recognized as a poet in his own time. When he was about 60 yrs old someone asked him if he regretted how life had treated him. He said no, he’d had the best of lives, and that was because of his visions. Two hundred years later twentieth century critics decided he was the greatest of the romantic poets.
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Yes, it seems so. The explosion of streaming visual entertainment is a lot of completion. TV and Movies have always been competitors, but it used to be people would watch their show and then have to wait for next week to see the next installment. So, they would pick up their book. Now they binge-watch, and the book gathers dust. It’s sad, but you can only sigh and keep writing, hoping that, like Blake, your voice will be heard one day and that it wasn’t all for naught. Thanks for your comment!
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That is a sad explanation, but I suspect you’ve hit the nail on the head.
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In our culture, I think it’s easy to get fixated on sales as a measure of success, and in a very real sense, they are one measure. Still, after almost 30 years of writing, I’ve found book sales rise and fall and I often can’t predict why that happens. There really are just too many variables ranging from what other entertainment options have grabbed people’s options at a given time to what’s going on in the world. I have no control over either of those variables. What I do have control over is continuing to work to be the best writer I can be and to produce the work that satisfies me the most. Ultimately, that’s why I became a writer and why I have no regrets about it, even in those times when sales are disappointing.
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Thank you, so much, for your comment. It is very reassuring to me. I wish you the best as you continue your writing journey and that it always brings you joy!
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its definitely stressful to see where our books rank, and then see them not selling. Your wife was definitely wise to direct your energy toward what you love. And maybe while you are not watching the stats, they will improve!
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It’s always interesting to see people ponder this question. I answered it years ago as part of my self-healing. Do I sometimes wish I’d made another choice? Yes. But everything that I have done or has been done to me, every choice I have made, everything I have experienced has made me who I am today. Change just one of those, even something seemingly small (and I have an awful lot of the big in my background) and I would be a different person. To accept and like who I am today, I have to accept all that has gone before. So yes to the wishing and wondering, but no to the regrets.
On the sales side, I’m always puzzled by how some authors become popular and others do not. Especially now where there seems to be a rise in popularity of mediocrity. Janny Wurts is a master and has never gotten the acclaim or sales I feel she deserves. But there are other authors that write generic and flat fiction that are raking in the sales. It must be even harder for self-pub authors. I confess, I’m wary of trying self-pub because when I have it has been rubbish that hasn’t been edited. I know there are a lot now that are better and have been, but the majority still seems to be the former. Mind you, I am seeing a rise of traditionally published books that look like they haven’t been edited too.
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Wariness of self-published authors is warranted. The market is flooded. But remember that professional editing work costs a lot of money. For a normal length fantasy of 130-150k words, it costs about $5k. Most self-published authors will not make a return on that investment, and therefore, it is very hard to justify. There is a chance that you’ll get lucky, but most won’t. I always say that if I run into a little extra money, I will put it towards editing, but then bills come in, and you have to make a choice. Art always falls victim, unfortunately. That leaves traditional publishing, but the market is shrinking, making it increasingly hard to land a deal. Choosing between waiting for a miracle and getting your work in front of an audience without breaking the bank leads to some great stories with typos and grammatical errors, unfortunately. I plan to travel down the rabbit hole of traditional publishing for my current project, Koen. I’m going to give it a year. If no one is interested, then I will self-publish that one too. Wish me luck!
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Thanks for the insight. Though I should elaborate on the editing – while grammatical errors, typos, missing/adding/wrong words can be annoying, they aren’t the worst thing. Editing used to be about so much more than this. It used to include tightness of story and consistency. Based on some of what is coming through the traditionally published route though, this may be moving more to the responsibility of the author rather than the editor, or maybe it just depends on the author. E.g. if an author is popular, maybe they get a light touch by an editor after submission and can therefore get away with publishing books that are 200 pages too long, whereas other authors will have more scrutiny. My favourite author does deep editing herself on the story, then does a language edit after that, before it goes to the editor. But I have seen a popular author state that once he has written his book he isn’t interested in it anymore – I interpreted this as he basically submits his first draft to the editor, and this would explain a lot.
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From what I can tell, publishers are struggling, so they are pushing much of the costs back onto the authors. This includes editing. If they do cover this, they certainly don’t spend as much as they used to. This includes promotion too. They used to do that for you, but more and more have to organize readings and signings themselves. They may get help with marketing, but still have a heavier lift than they used to. The benefits of going the traditional route are shrinking. It is part of the reason many self-publish now. I too have found typos and grammatical errors in big house works. The hardest part of writing a book is editing for content and doing this on your own is even harder- killing your babies, as they say. But the more work you ask of an editor, the more expensive it gets, and often you have to go with what you can pay for, if you can afford it all. The business side of writing is a jungle, but a necessary evil, I guess. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment. I really appreciate it!
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