I’m constantly searching for that magic switch to flip- the mythical lever that opens the door to success. The one that produces that aha moment that I’ve been doing it wrong all along, and if I just did it this way, the floodgates to goodness would open, bathing me in bliss. Growing up, everyone told me I would succeed with hard work and perseverance. But is that true, or is it all a plot to make us all good little workers? Maybe everything is preset, and we should all just enjoy the ride presented to us.
It is not to say that I haven’t found success in life. I have a loving wife, good health, a lovely home, and a great family. I’ve seen the world, have productive hobbies, and end many days content. My career, though serpentine, has been reasonably fulfilling. It is sometimes stressful and frustrating, but ultimately I enjoy my job and coworkers. But is being a higher education administrator my dream? Certainly not, and there lies the crux of my problem.
This dream, the one that burns within my soul, is to be an author. I don’t want to be just a writer who publishes as a hobby. I want to be someone who can make a living peddling the written word, and I’ve never struggled so hard for something in my life. Eight hours a day doing anything else is tedium. But If I could devote a full day’s work to writing, that would be heaven.
The harder I’ve fought for this dream, the more distant it seems, and I return to flipping the switches. I think I’ve tried almost all of them, and nothing has worked thus far. I’ve researched the publishing topic extensively, written and rewritten my book descriptions, tweaked covers, run ads, tried all sorts of strategies to boost my rankings, devoted massive amounts of time to keyword research and selection, developed almost one hundred different visual advertisements, run promotions, tried out all forms of social media, researched and interacted with my audience, explored my competition, and continue to write this blog. Has any of it worked? *shrugs shoulders* But I can confidently say I haven’t found the magic switch. My growth across the board, whether it is sales, followers, rankings, etc., has increased, but only marginally. As far as I can tell, any growth is merely the effects of time rather than any impact of my activities.
It brings me to the question every aspiring author faces. Could it be my writing? It is a question that haunts me constantly. I’m a lanky redhead with freckles. By default, I have confidence issues. But I like my stories and love writing them. I don’t have a lot of reviews (strategies to increase that haven’t worked either), but the ones I do have are mainly positive. I have no delusions. I am a middle dweller and will probably never be great, but I think I do an ok job of stringing words together to capture what is in my imagination. I work at it every day, always striving to improve. I’ve written millions of words and spent thousands of hours honing my craft. I know it is incredibly tough being a writer. Readership is decreasing, and competition is growing, but I can’t help feeling I should be doing better than this.
Everything above leads me to this plea. Ultimately, I know there is no magic switch, but some of you are certainly more successful at this writing game than me- a few might even be doing it for a living. Even if you struggle, like me, perhaps you can see some hole in my craft. I am open to suggestions and advice. Feel free to comment below or send me a message here. I have no delusions. I still have much to learn, so be brutally honest. I’m ready for it (I think). But please try to stay constructive. You can find my published work here, and thank you in advance.
In the meantime, all I can do is keep writing. My current project, Koen, is at 71,000 words, and I suspect I am about halfway through the story. I am at the point where I know where it’s going. My destinations are hazy silhouettes on the horizon, and it’s just a matter of getting there. It is an exciting time in my process as the pesky pauses of indecision are gone. I’m excited about this project, and I think it has the potential to be my best book yet. I aimed for a dark and gritty adventure that helps frame my tortured world of Lucardia and, more importantly, the history of Erikson Gray, the protagonist from my larger Absolution of the Morning Star series. I’ve accomplished this thus far. Koen is a conflicted anti-hero presented with impossible choices. He does his best, but sometimes, that is not good enough. It is here where great yarns are spun. I aim to get Koen traditionally published. Hell, perhaps that is the magic switch I quest for. Only time will tell.
Cheers!
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For the legions of us who struggle this way, you’ve said it all perfectly here Scott – I wish I could offer an answer, but I have none.
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Thanks, Alan!
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You describe a constant struggle for creative people. I’ve felt that way too. But lately, I’ve been feeling like I need to let the Universe take care of the marketing, while I take care of the creating.
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Just hold tight to your dream, Scott.
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Being a ‘successful’ writer – by your definition – is about selling, not about writing (exactly). You either get lucky, or you research your market and find the product that people want to buy. That’s hard for an artist, because – unless you are lucky – you can’t just write from the heart. Your writing becomes an exercise in technical skill. Many great authors wrote for the joy of it – as we do – and sometimes only got lucky after their death. Many got lucky once, and then repeated the formula over and over. There’s always a market for romantic escapism, for ‘twisty’ thrillers and for stories that explore the ‘essence’ of being human, but you have to make the characters thoroughly ‘believable’ and engaging. Even then you’re competing in a sea of other, similar works … Can you incite your readers to feel that they identify with one of the characters and ‘need’ to know what comes next – i.e. they “can’t put the book down” until they finish it. That’s all about character and plot development. Am I a successful writer? No. But I have been a successful salesman.
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Thanks so much for these words of wisdom! They are heard and hit. I love writing and will do it regardless. Hell, that’s really what I’m doing now. My dream is that I can make a living from it. Not necessarily rich or famous, but be able to support me and my family and devote all the time I wasted working for others to what I love. I suppose everyone has that dream and that’s what makes it tough. Well, maybe someday!
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Dear Scott,
Your post got me thinking not so much about disappointment, but about expectations. We are indeed conditioned to be good little workers because we are conditioned to have expectations. Mostly these are artificial and about encouraging good behaviour and complacency. Not that that is so bad, but it is undermining and corrosive to one’s self-esteem if one does not quite fit.
Not quite fitting is where the dreams come in. They are the shape of who you think you are, who you aspire to be, your identity, if only all these other things didn’t get in the way. The happy life, fulfilling hobbies, lovely family are all part of that dream but they are all the things that also get in the way. And you know you are glad of them. Perhaps they put the dream stuff into a different perspective, a distorted perspective that ensures you don’t do the thing that lets you pursue the dream: risk and loss. The days are long gone when there was a slender chance of making a living as an author. Unless you are part of the professional writing fabric (yes in my case) or willing to devote your days and nights to building an online audience (absolutely no in my case), it’s a matter of serendipity. And as you have seen all that online stuff is easily lost in the saturation of players that inhabit the internet. Sorry to be a drag.
What matters more than what you want, your dream, is the work because the work you do means something to your readers. You might not know what it means or why, but as long as someone somewhere is reading your stuff, it’s worth the effort. Even if it is only a handful of people, they are your readers. And it is the dream you have, except not dressed up in conventional expectation or its fulfilment. Have you considered Bookouture for your MS? They publish a lot of your sort of stuff.
Writers are often people who choose not to quite fit, but we still can’t quite get away from that expectation thing. The publishing industry is an industrial machine, like any other. It needs raw materials and a rock solid bottom line. Publishing companies will do everything possible to source the former for as little cost and risk as possible. They’ll go all out to protect the latter and people like you and I matter very little in this model. The glut of authors and wannabees is the pool in which they feed. That said fantasy is a proven vein so don’t lose heart.
Do what you do and keep making it better. Enjoy it. The day job is just the coastline on your ocean. Keep sailing.
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Thanks so much for this! There is a lot of great advice here. I will digest it and let it enrich me. Cheers!
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Hey Scott!
I’m basically a spring-chick to this blog writing thing and only took it up in the pursuit of a productive hobby. While I it is impossible for me to fully understand your sentiments, I still very much resonate with them. Sometimes, we don’t get lucky no matter how long we keep on playing at life but the important thing is to KEEP ON PLAYING. Having a burning passion has already put you halfway to succses. Cheers.
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In Isaac Asimov’s posthumous autobiography, edited by his wife, he told the story of riding in a taxi, when the driver, tipped off by the bldg Asimov came out of, asked him: “You a writer?” – Asimov admitted that he was, then the driver told him that he once wanted to write a novel, but never got around to it. Asimov replied, “Just as well, no one can make a living writing novels now.” The cabbie replied:
“Isaac Asimov does.”
I see nothing wrong with hoping for money from writing. I think we’re something like salmon fighting their way up the river to the spawning grounds. Most never make it, but some do. Only difference is, there are less and less salmon, but more and more authors.
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