Wonton Diplomacy

Last weekend, the in-laws from both sides met. It is always a fun albeit stressful interaction. They don’t speak the same language, but somehow, they communicate with a mixture of smiles and gestures (and with my wife and I selectively translating). They give each other awkward hugs and tell us how good the other pair looks. As has become a tradition, we made wontons together (filled with pork and onion). They were delicious, and none broke open, which is a triumph and attests to the makers’ skill. We also had hot mushroom turnovers made by my mother (their version of dumplings), and we toasted with pina coladas in paper cups made with rum we brought back from Puerto Rico. After, we took a walk on the beach. It was a lovely day of memories that everyone enjoyed.

This is the third time my Chinese in-laws have visited the US. The first time was twelve years ago, coinciding with us buying our home. One of the first meetings between the parents was to help us move into our new house. We made wontons then, too, but they weren’t as successful. Most opened, and we ate a sludge of broken skins and meat. It didn’t matter. After spending a hot and humid summer day moving boxes and furniture, anything would have tasted good.

It’s hard to know how the parents would get along if they spoke the same language. Perhaps it’s better that they only communicate with smiles and hand gestures, for they’ve had vastly different experiences. They are all “baby boomers,” but that means different things for Chinese and Americans. Both countries were victors after World War II, but where the Americans had relative prosperity and technological progress after the war, the Chinese had civil war, regime change, famine, the Cultural Revolution, dramatic economic growth, and communist rule for 70 years. Thus, they view the world very differently. But they share one thing in common: their love for my wife and me, expressed in vastly different ways but ultimately felt and appreciated.

Not many in-laws get along, and sometimes they hate each other. These things happen with forced interactions. Luckily, we don’t have that problem. Everyone is cordial and happy, and the communication difficulties are almost a blessing. We had plenty of laughs, enjoyed the beautiful weather, and savored wontons made with love. It was a perfect day. The US and China are very different and have much to disagree about, but at the end of the day, people are people, and regardless of language or culture, we ultimately just want to smile, enjoy good food, and feel content. If we remember that, then anything is possible.

Cheers!