Another step in Koen’s journey

It is never easy to admit defeat, especially in a public forum, but I promised to be transparent on this journey. After ten months of querying for Koen, I’ve exhausted all my options. Yes, I know. I said a year and there is always another agent or publishing house that opens up, but after a grueling journey, the verdict is that traditional publishing is not Koen’s destiny. I received much encouragement and a few promising leads on this adventure, but ultimately, I’ve decided to self-publish yet again. I knew the odds were stacked against me, so I am unsurprised this is where I ended up.

I am coming to this point with a mixture of emotions. Of course, I am disappointed. I put a lot of work into Koen, which was my best work to date. I produced blurbs and pitches of different lengths, wrote various forms of synopsis and multiple versions of a query letter, conducted market research, reviewed comparable titles, and applied feedback when received, even doing a complete rewrite. I followed the sage advice to sit back and regroup after every twelve rejections- but the magic formula remained elusive. I researched agents and publishing houses and compiled a detailed spreadsheet to track everything.

Coming to this end feels like a lot of wasted time and effort. But strangely, I also feel thrilled to finally be able to release this book to the world after finishing it almost a year ago, especially with the knowledge that Koen will remain all mine to do with as I please. I am hopeful it does great and proves them all wrong 😉

The prevailing sentiment among the experts is that Koen would need to be about 50k words shorter to sell, and I can’t bring myself to cut that much. I received many encouraging words that helped validate me as a writer, but ultimately, no one wanted to risk selling a 150k-word book by a relatively unknown author in a genre well saturated with established writers. I get this. Koen would be a hefty tome with high printing costs. I’ve also come to understand the market has shifted towards highlighting underrepresented voices, which is essential. They deserve the limelight.

No one can say I didn’t try, and I am proud of myself for weathering a steady stream of rejection without losing confidence in my novel. I queried 117 agents and publishers, receiving 91 rejections (26 didn’t respond). Most were form responses, but sixteen made the effort to provide feedback. In most cases, it was a positive assessment of my writing, but either Koen just wasn’t for them at this time, or it was too long. One publisher put me on a “to-be-considered for 2025” list and told me to reach out again in August. I did, but after a week of no response, I assume they are no longer interested (I will give them a follow-up and one more week, just in case). *Sigh* Disappointment paves the road to traditional publishing, and even best-sellers walk this road often. Even if I received an offer of representation, there was no guarantee an agent could get a publisher to buy it. If picked up, the process could take years, and Koen would no longer be completely mine.

Luckily, in the ensuing ten months, I have written another book, applying what I have learned. The Novice of Thanatos is around 100,000 words and is a much more marketable word count. It also has a more novel premise. The Novice of Thanatos is currently in the throes of editing and should be ready in a month or two. I now have a shortlist of those who showed interest in my work. I’ve learned a lot about myself and my writing through the feedback, and the querying process will be much easier to negotiate after the lessons learned from my trials and errors. I am now better suited to try it all again. I will also give The Novice of Thanatos a year to gain traction. In that time, I will write another book, and then another and another. I will keep doing this until one day, I reach my goal.

Even with all the rejection, I still stand firmly behind Koen. It is an epic dark fantasy journey. All authors know the kind of book they want to write, but the product sometimes fails to reach that expectation. Koen is precisely where I want to be as an author. It is dark, gritty, and has high stakes. Koen is morally complex and faces severe dilemmas as he struggles between duty and desire. There are plenty of supernatural elements with just enough magic to keep things mysterious without getting hokey. It’s a good book, and I’m damn proud of it.

Below is Koen’s most recent blurb if you’re interested. Koen is now available for preorder here, and it will release on September 22, 2024. If you have been following my journey and enjoy my work, please consider picking up a copy. Oh, and for the love of god, leave a review 😉

Cheers!

If you had to choose between love and the survival of your nation, what would you sacrifice?

Prince Koen the Gray, second-born of Emperor Vesper the Uniter, is desperately trying to secure Lucardia’s future. Tasked with cementing a fragile truce with the Northlands’ Circle of Eight, he must produce an heir with his Northling bride, Rachel of Thorne. But Koen is forced into a dangerous quest for a miracle when the Circle sabotages this peace by ensnaring him in love with a bride who cannot conceive.

Enticed by whispers that the Nyth Cigran—a secretive coven of witches rumored to wield forbidden powers of the flesh—may still live, Koen ventures into the treacherous Wastelands, far from the safety of Blackdown Castle. There, he meets Erikini, an orphan girl who can hear the dead and they become unlikely allies. Together, they discover that the witches’ aid comes at a steep price, subjecting Koen to grueling trials that push him to his limits.

As Koen confronts the harsh realities of sacrifice and the painful truth that some must suffer for others to prosper, his journey evolves into a relentless battle for his soul—where compromise is impossible. His decisions will determine not only his destiny but also the future of the realm he is sworn to protect. In the end, he must face the ultimate question: how much is he willing to sacrifice for a son and heir?