A Writer’s Note-to-Self

Dear Me,

I know you’ve been wrestling with questions lately about your writing—specifically, how to balance the desire for external validation and writing for the sake of writing. Destiny of the Daystar is the fourth book in a series, and you can’t expect it to take off. You knew sales would be dismal. Yes, it can be lonely pouring yourself into words that disappear into the void, and it’s natural to wonder if it’s even worth it. But before you let those doubts swallow you, let’s talk through some reminders and insights you’ve discovered in our journey.

1. It’s Okay to Desire Recognition

First, release any shame around wanting your words to be seen and appreciated. Part of being human is longing for connection, and writing is one of the ways you seek it. There’s no flaw in craving an audience or validation that what you put on the page means something. You want someone to say, “I see you, and I hear what you have to say.” That’s normal—many authors, from famous novelists to everyday bloggers, share this feeling.

But don’t let external applause become your only fuel. The journey can be long, and pinning all your self-worth on reviews, sales, likes, shares, or comments will create a constant emotional roller coaster. Acknowledge that desire, but realize it needs to coexist with deeper, more personal reasons for writing—like exploration, self-expression, and personal growth.

2. Remember Your ‘Why’

When the silence feels deafening—when no one responds, or your sales barely nudge upward—turn your attention inward. Why did you start writing in the first place? Sometimes, you need to reconnect with that original spark: maybe it’s the need to capture a memory, have a semblance of control in a chaotic world, clarify your thoughts, or create art that stirs emotions. Let that be a constant anchor, a reminder that there’s inherent worth in the act of writing itself.

3. Focus on Craft, Not the Crowd

External validation is unpredictable, often hinging on trends, algorithms, or plain serendipity. What you can control is how you evolve as a writer. Spend time experimenting with new styles, studying admired authors, or practicing techniques that sharpen your prose. Every page you write, even if it’s just a scribble on a page no one will ever see, gets you closer to mastery.

When you shift your focus to honing your skills, growth becomes its own reward. You’ll see the difference in your latest work compared to what you wrote last month or year. That quiet progress can build a strong sense of accomplishment, regardless of how many eyes are on your words.

4. Redefine Success on Your Own Terms

If your definition of success relies solely on big numbers—like going viral or snagging a significant publication—it might feel like you’re failing anytime those goals aren’t met. Instead, create more personal markers of achievement:

• Process Goals: “I’ll write 1,000 words daily,” or “I’ll finish one chapter this week.”
• Learning Goals: “I’ll read three books on craft,” or “I’ll study how my favorite author structures dialogue.”
• Micro Wins: Celebrate finishing a tricky paragraph, untangling a plot hole, or receiving helpful feedback from a friend.

Recognizing these minor accomplishments keeps your momentum and finds fulfillment—even without massive external applause.

5. Embrace “Micro” Validation & True Connection

Yes, it’s wonderful to picture thousands of people reading your work, but that’s not the only form of validation. Pay attention to smaller, more personal moments of genuine engagement:

• Meaningful Comments: If even one reader says, “Your story resonated with me,” that can spark more lasting encouragement than a hundred likes.
• Supportive Community: Join a writing group or share pieces with a trusted friend for critique. Constructive input can be invaluable—it’s a form of validation that also helps you grow.
• Mentorship: One thoughtful note from a writer you admire may carry more weight than broad but superficial praise.

Sometimes, we undervalue these one-on-one connections, yet they’re often more powerful and enduring than fleeting online metrics.

6. Balance Public-Facing Work with Private Experimentation

There’s room in your writing life for both polished, audience-driven pieces and private explorations. You don’t have to share every single thing you write. Allow yourself to keep a journal or work on experimental drafts you may never publish. This can be incredibly freeing, allowing you to play with new ideas, take risks, and discover your voice without the pressure of public judgment. Most importantly, it will help you remember that you enjoy writing.

When you do decide to put a polished piece out there, you’ll still hope it resonates with readers—but you’ll also know your creative joy doesn’t rely on their response alone.

7. Detach (a Little) from External Outcomes

It’s easier said than done, but try to practice a bit of detachment from numbers, likes, and shares. They can be meaningful indicators, but they don’t define your worth or the quality of your work. Write, revise, share, and let your piece enter the world. One day, it might catch the right person’s eye, or it could very well stay in a quiet corner of the internet. Either way, it’s another step in your evolution, i.e., go a day each week where you don’t check your numbers- be comfortable with the unknown.

8. Dig Deeper into the Need for Validation

If you find that the quest for approval feels all-consuming, consider exploring where that craving stems from. Sometimes, it reflects more significant emotional narratives—about belonging, self-worth, or fear of invisibility. Journaling, therapy, or open conversations with trusted friends can help you process those deeper motivations. Understanding them can lessen their hold and help you find healthier, more sustainable ways to feel validated.

9. Keep Showing Up

Here’s a simple truth: nobody finds success or growth in writing by giving up too soon. You can’t win the lottery if you don’t play. If no one’s reading today, keep writing anyway. The more you hone your craft, the more you evolve, and the higher your chances of eventually resonating with an audience. Even if you never gain a massive readership, you’ll still have built a meaningful, personal legacy through your words, which has value all its own.

Final Thoughts: You Are Still a Writer

Dear Me, you are still a writer, even when the world seems quiet. It’s okay to crave an audience, and it’s okay to feel disappointed when applause is slow in coming. But don’t let that yearning eclipse the deeper joy, learning, and self-discovery that writing brings you. Keep creating, keep growing, keep seeking the right balance between recognition and the intrinsic love of language and storytelling.

Write for yourself. Write for the readers who may one day find you. Write to connect, to explore, and, yes, sometimes just to be applauded. Above all, don’t forget: You have a voice worth sharing—even if it just echoes in the void.

With understanding and encouragement,

Me