NOTICE OF A WICKED AFFRAY AT RUBY’S ROOST

HEAR YE. HEAR YE.
BY ORDER OF SHERIFF KELSTER OF THE CITY WATCH
AND FOR THE PEACE OF GOODFOLK OF THIS QUARTER,
LET THIS BE MADE KNOWN, POSTED, AND REMEMBERED.

On the eve last past, when honest men sought drink, warmth, and company beneath a lawful roof, a MOST FOUL DISTURBANCE was raised within the chambers of RUBY’S ROOST, being a house of sanctioned pleasure and proper account, where coin is taken fair, and quarrels are turned away at the door.

A certain CLIENT OF GOOD MEANS, known to many and long accustomed to civilized sport and merriment, did retire to a private room for his comfort. The house, in good faith, provided him service as is customary.

Yet among the girls there has been, of late, a SULLEN LITTLE WHELP, a new-taken stray—thin as a rake, with eyes too sharp for her station—who Mistress Ruby reported to show ILL TEMPER, STUBBORNNESS, and a BITING DISPOSITION, refusing counsel and kindness, and carrying herself like a cornered alley-rat that would sooner scratch than be fed.

This same girl—DRESSED AND MADE PRESENTABLE in a fine gown of yellow by the labor and great expense of the house (rouge, powder, clean cloth, and ribbon)—was brought to the room in the belief that she would do her duty, as any girl must who has eagerly taken the bread from the Roost’s tables for many months, and lived dry and warm under its roof.

Instead, she did commit an act of UNNATURAL VIOLENCE.

For when the client—being in his own chamber, having paid in full, and offering no threat that was not imagined by a fevered mind—did bid the girl approach, she did suddenly produce a PILFERED TABLE-FORK (theft upon theft), and with the WICKED SPEED OF A STREET-THING, did drive the tines into the poor man’s throat.

Witnesses report a GURGLING CRY, like that of a hog at slaughter, evoking ill memories for many, which will most certainly plague their innocent ears for many years to come.

The client did stagger back, hands to his neck, blood coming fast, and spitting curses as any man would when a MURDEROUS CHILD puts steel to him.

And let none be deceived by soft talk of “fear” or “accident.”
This was no stumble, no slip, no girlish faintness. This was INTENT OF MURDER!

By the grace of hard living and a strong constitution, the client did not fall dead at once, and is recuperating under the tender hands of the Nuns of the Lord’s Mercy. But the girl—seeing her vile deed done—did attempt escape like a rat from a trap, tearing at the door and scrambling away through the hall.

In the chaos, she did cause further uproar, knocking into patrons, upsetting drink and vittles, and bringing disorder upon the house and those within—INJURING THE REPUTATION OF A RESPECTABLE ESTABLISHMENT that keeps its own and asks no charity from the street.

Mistress Ruby herself raised the alarm and called for hands to stop the girl. Yet the whelp, being small and quick as spite, did wriggle through and flee into the night, still clutching the stolen fork—BLOODIED—like a terrible trophy.

LET IT THEREFORE BE PROCLAIMED:

• That the said girl is A THIEF, A LIAR, and DANGEROUS TO GOODFOLK, having shown she will draw blood without cause.
• That she is WANTED for the attempted murder of a paying client and for the disturbance and damages done to Ruby’s Roost in excess of several hundred pounds.
• That any who harbor her, feed her, hide her, or turn their faces away when she is seen, do make themselves PARTICIPANTS IN HER CRIME.
• That any who bring word of her whereabouts to Ruby’s Roost, or to those appointed to keep order, shall be met with REWARD IN COIN and the gratitude of the house.

MARK HER WELL: small, slight, with a mean look behind prettied paint; quick hands; dark hair; in a linen dress of yellow; no shoes; and most of all, she may carry a SILVER FORK not hers by right, but wielded as a weapon.

And let every man, woman, and watchman remember—
A girl who will stab once will stab again, and a throat is soft no matter how stout the body.

POSTED THIS NIGHT,
beneath lamp and nail,
for the warning of the square,
and the discouragement of wickedness.

*If you like this tale, you will surely enjoy Jezelle: Thief of Forks, available for pre-order now, releasing April 4, 2026.